a note from Aruba

Hi everyone, this is Aruba! (Mommy said that I could write on her blog)

Thank you all for thinking about me & praying for me, I sure appreciate it!  It has been a rough summer for me... I miss Buddy so much, and I can tell that Mommy & Sal do too.  He was my canine pal, and I sometimes still look around the house for him.  And then a few weeks after Buddy left us, I was diagnosed with cancer.  It seemed almost too much sadness for Mommy to bear.

But, I have GREAT news to share!  I'm feeling good, energetic.  And I'm eating well (Mommy is always filling my bowl and is constantly after me to eat).  She even adds "toppings" to my doggie food--- like Greek yogurt, pumpkin, and vegetable broth.  She says it's healthy, but I say it's yummy!  Woof!

And I've been on chemotherapy for 2 weeks now... I'm tolerating it well, with no side effects!  I can tell this makes Mommy & Sal so very happy!  Mommy said it's an incredible medicine that will make me better.  I had a check-up at the doggie oncologist today and she agreed that I'm doing great!  My blood cell count is fine.  She's gradually increasing my chemo dosage; Mommy said the cancer I have is aggressive and the chemo will fight this bad disease and keep me healthy.

I'm so glad that I have such wonderful doctors and medicines, and doggie parents who make me feel so loved!

On the way home from the hospital today, Mommy and I went to Sonic.  Woof!  Buddy used to tell me about how he went on exciting "Sonic sidetrips" on the way home from the cancer clinic.  Now it's my turn....

Love,

Aruba 🐾

first day of chemo

Hi everyone....

Aruba had a big day today... but seems it was a good day!  :-)

The surgeon removed her sutures and said she is healing really well from the surgery!  Yay!

Right afterwards, we went down the hall of the hospital for her to meet with the oncologist and begin chemotherapy.  With how aggressive her tumor was, we wanted to begin ASAP.  She had her first dose this afternoon, and as of 9:45 tonight, so far so good!  No reactions!  She is brave & strong, like Buddy was!

We're hopeful that she'll tolerate this drug (Palladia) well, as it's a cutting-edge chemo treatment; it specifically targets her particular type of cancer cells!  It's the best available.  Only the best for our precious Aruba !!!

Thanks so much for your continued concern + prayers for her!

Hoping to share more good news again soon.....

23 years!

Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary.

With so much sadness in our hearts at the moment... losing our dear Buddy recently and now with Aruba terminally ill... we're just not in a celebratory mood, to be honest.

No big plans.  Just enjoying time together today, as a family... life is so uncertain.

Happy anniversary Sal, I love you!

a punch in the heart

Hello everyone...

It has been nothing but bad news here on Where In The World? this summer.  Sorry.  I truly wish it could be different.  Really not sure where all the bad karma is coming from? 

Some good news is that Aruba is recovering well from her surgery and that the entire tumor seems to have been removed successfully.  :-)

I'm deeply sad to share tho that Aruba's biopsy revealed that her tumor was a Grade 3.  Highly aggressive.  The worst Grade.  Just so incredibly devastating!  Many tears have been shed here.  This news was like a punch in the heart!  Except that my heart was already broken from losing our precious Buddy just weeks ago.....

After thorough discussions with her surgeon and oncologist, the best option appears to be for her to begin chemo next week, literally as soon as her sutures are removed (the surgical wound must heal thoroughly before treatment can begin).  With a tumor this aggressive, her doctor is certain that malignant cells have already spread (but where?), are circulating in her body, and will gain a foothold if not eradicated by treatment.  Without chemo, Aruba has only a 25% chance of living another year.  {horrible}  I am overwhelmed!  But like for Buddy, I will not focus on statistics when helping Aruba.  Buddy was given 1.5 years to live when beginning chemo, but he lived an amazing 4.5 years !!  The power of love, perhaps? (see my previous post)

Aruba's chemo drug will be Palladia, a relatively new drug designed by Pfizer's animal health division specifically to target this type of cells in dogs--- the cells in the tumor that Aruba had!  Even more amazing is that it has been FDA-approved (this is a very major step for any drug, human or canine).

We're so hoping that our treasured Aruba will tolerate this drug well and can fight the cancer.  Like for Buddy, she'll be getting the best medical care available, she'll have every comfort.... with love, hugs and kisses galore!  And a trip to Sonic with Mommy on the way home from every hospital visit.

the power of love

Our sweet Aruba is home from the hospital and recovering well from the surgery, resting.  We couldn't be happier!!!  Thank you all for thinking of us during this difficult couple of weeks, especially so soon after losing our precious Buddy.  It has been unbelievable, really....

Wanted to share a few pics from our visits with her while she was in the ICU.  (Excuse any blurriness--- Aruba is so difficult to photograph, she will almost never look at the camera or be still)

My first visit was alone; Sal had to tend to final exam duties this week, so I was with Aruba during the day, then we all visited together later at night.  As soon as Aruba caught a glimpse of me, she started howling and crying!  This went on, loudly at times, for 15 minutes or so.  It startled me (!!!), I thought maybe she was in pain, but the nurse assured me there was no way, she had just come off a pain med I.V.  She said it was because Aruba was excited to see me, she was 'talking' to me!!  {warmed my heart}

Before my visit, Aruba had made no attempt to walk around, or even stand up.  The medical staff was concerned... until they saw Aruba become so animated with me, wiggling in my lap and then standing and walking all around!  The nurse said, "...and right there is the power of love...".

We visited in the hospital's 'family room', a cozy space with a sofa and doors leading to a patio to enjoy some sunshine + fresh air with your furry patient.  When Aruba stood up, she immediately walked right to the patio doors, felt the warm sun on her face!  Just like home....

On my drive home from the hospital, I was stopped at a light when this car pulled up in the lane next to me.... I smiled big at the bumper sticker--- what timing, right?!

Aruba was just as energetic + alert during our nighttime visit, and even ate 1/2 can of food with us!  We somehow managed to snap a group selfie... even Aruba is smiling!

When we brought her home, there was a sweet get-well card in the mail for Aruba + a gift for Mommy (it's a magnet)... such a thoughtful gesture from Ruth, Paul, Gina & Dana (Sal's brother + family in Philadelphia):

Aruba is now enjoying every comfort while she recuperates, like lounging this morning... sweet angel:

She's taking lot of meds for a little while.  Monday will be a bandage change + probably getting biopsy results (we're hopeful they'll show that the cancer hasn't spread).  In about a week, the bandage will come off + sutures removed.

So wonderful to be re-united with our dear Aruba!

home alone

I dropped Aruba off at the hospital early this morning.  Surgery today.  Always so hard when they take her into the hospital; it's not easy to be separated.  I hope she's not scared.

The surgeon will remove the cancerous tumor from her shoulder, and possibly her entire spleen too... waiting to hear. {nervous stomach}

Some GOOD news yesterday tho!  The first batch of test results came in and did not indicate that the cancer has spread beyond the tumor!  Hoping the good news continues with additional testing....

So hard to be in this empty house.  Whenever Buddy or Aruba have had to be hospitalized, I always had the other at home with me.  We'd wait together.

We love you, Aruba! ❤

one month ago

It was one month ago today that we said our heartbreaking final good-bye to our precious Buddy.  I wore my "Dog Mom" shirt that day, the one I normally reserve to wear only on Mother's Day, while his sweet soul traveled from my arms up to Heaven.

We are missing him so much.....  

The other day, I stopped at Sonic and toasted Buddy with a grape slush.  You may recall that after every chemo treatment, cardiologist visit, etc. Buddy and I would stop there on the way home ... because Mommy needed junk food to cope, LOL !!! 

It has been a painful time, but I can't thank you enough for all of the cards, calls, emails, texts that have helped me cope.  I so appreciate your thinking of me, and the many "hugs" you've sent my way!  We have a window sill full of touching sympathy cards... I put them there because that window overlooks the area outside where Buddy and I so often sat together.  He had eventually gone blind, but we enjoyed feeling the sunshine on our faces and hearing the birds sing.  In his final days, I'd hold him in my arms and sing to him out there.

Buddy's many doctors sent sympathy cards too, so thoughtful.  One of them made a donation to the Arbor Day Foundation in Buddy's memory; as a tribute to him, 10 trees will be planted in the Blackwater River State Forest in northern Florida.  Given how much Sal and I love nature, this was an especially meaningful gesture!

I sent all of his doctors a hand-written thank you note, and tucked some favorite photos of Buddy in with them.  It took me nearly all day to write them.  It was hard.  Felt like yet another good-bye... his doctors are special people, and were our partners in keeping Buddy healthy.

The adjustment to life without Buddy has been painful... after 16 wonderful years, and our bond deepening in his final 4 years with his chronic illnesses.  We've had to console Aruba too; she spent weeks wandering the house looking for him, crying at times.  It was heartbreaking to find her standing at a door, staring, waiting for him I guess?... and I'd tell her "no Buddy".  I hope she forgives me when, on occasion, I slip and call her 'Buddy'.

We've made several donations in Buddy's memory, to help other animals who don't have the loving home that he did, or who are suffering from cancer... the ASPCA and Best Friends Animal Society (a very special sanctuary that we visited while we were in Utah in 2009) and Chase Away K9 Cancer.  And to the Southside Animal Shelter in Indianapolis, where we adopted Buddy.  We donated his crate to a local animal shelter, the Peggy Adams Animal Rescue League; they were so thankful to get it, they have such need.   It was heartbreaking to let it go, but it's not helping other animals by sitting here.  And on our way to the animal shelter with his crate, we were behind a car with a bumper sticker that said, "I {heart} my beagle", OMG!  Perhaps Buddy was thanking us for donating his crate??  I want to believe that.

We have Buddy's ashes now too; it was another tough day going to get them.  We brought Aruba with us so that we could bring Buddy home as a family.  His beautiful hand-carved wooden box is on my nightstand; my statue of St Francis of Assisi, patron saint of animals, is watching over him.

Sal and I have a couple of special places in mind to spread some of Buddy's ashes... will share more on that later.

I've mentioned in many posts about the incredible expertise and compassion of Palm Beach Veterinary Specialists (PBVS), the hospital where Buddy had cancer surgery and other critical care so many times.  Well, they have another incredible resource too... a Certified Bereavement Counselor and a Pet Loss Grief Group.  It meets twice a month and has been of great comfort to me.  I thought it might be difficult to return to the hospital where Buddy passed away, but instead I choose to think of it as the place that made so many miracles possible for him, and gave us 4 more special years with him.

Unfortunately, Sal and I had to return to PBVS a few days ago with Aruba.  She was diagnosed with a cancer tumor on her shoulder !!!  I'm still in a state of SHOCK and SADNESS, trying to wrap my mind around this devastating news, and only a few weeks after losing Buddy.  Seriously, how can this be happening??!!  We brought her for evaluation by an oncologist at PBVS, and for (thankfully painless) tests to help determine if the cancer has spread.  Hopefully not!  My heart is REELING !!!  We won't have those results until next week, and she is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday July 30 to remove the tumor + a biopsy. (She'll have the same surgeon who performed Buddy's life-saving lung cancer surgery 4 years ago... she'll be in excellent hands!)  The Bereavement Counselor knew that we were at PBVS that day with Aruba, and sought us out to offer support... how amazing was that?  Just another example of what makes PBVS so special !! 

We're praying that testing will show a low-grade tumor that hasn't spread, and that Aruba won't need chemo or radiation.  At the bottom of Aruba's hospital report the other day, they wrote "she's a very sweet girl".  Awww!

Our cherished Aruba, oh gosh.  I've asked Buddy to watch over her too.....

good-bye, Buddy

Buddy passed away yesterday afternoon.

Sal and I are beyond sad... deeply sad.  We loved Buddy so very much, and felt an extra special bond with him after years of helping him fight terrible diseases.  He was a precious member of our family for 16 years.  I feel a void like none I've ever felt.  I can't cope with this, I'm devastated.... 

Arriving home after letting Buddy go, I collapsed on the kitchen floor.  Buddy is everywhere here!  I'm hallucinating... I see him laying over here, walking over there.  I reached to fill his dish at dinnertime.  Such emptiness, loss, pain.... Sal and I are leaning on each other, sharing memories.

Lung X-rays taken while he was in the hospital this week revealed that his cancer had returned.  Another lung tumor, plus tumors had spread to his spine, and were fracturing it.  I was sobbing and Sal had to continue speaking with the vet.  How could this be happening? Cancer was ravaging Buddy's adorable little body.  He was so full of miracles all along, living longer (and better!) than many predicted, but he had no more miracles left in him.  Buddy died in the same hospital where his life was miraculously saved by cancer surgery over 4 years ago.

Actually, Buddy did have one more miracle for us!  Buddy was always so affectionate, giving lots of kisses, especially if he sensed we were upset.  But, in his final months, his kisses waned... he was a tired old man who preferred just to cuddle.  Then, out of nowhere yesterday, shortly before he passed away, he looked at me and Sal and gave each of us 3 kisses !!!!  I can still picture Sal's stunned face!  Such a tender and special memory that Sal and I will CHERISH forever !!!  Buddy was saying good-bye.

One of the ICU veterinarians spent time with us and freely shared her sympathy in Buddy's final hours and moments.  She cried with us... we felt blessed by her compassion on one of the worst days of our lives.

Buddy had several bottles of prescription medicines leftover.  Because they're expensive, I was hoping they could help another animal in need.  In Buddy's memory, I donated his medicines to the hospital, for anyone in financial need with a critically ill animal companion.

Sal and I must turn our attention to Aruba.  She's grieving too, wandering around the house looking for Buddy... it's heartbreaking.  Her fur is soaking wet from my tears.  When we rescued Aruba, Buddy was about 2 years old, and we were unsure how he'd react to a new (canine) member of the family.  But as always, Buddy had a loving spirit!  He welcomed her tenderly, altho he was quite befuddled by her obsession with his toys... she had never seen toys before and went nuts over them!

Thank you for sharing in my grief, for letting me ramble on.  Thank you for all of your love and prayers for Buddy through all of his illnesses.  It meant so very much !!

Good-bye, sweet Buddy.  Please wait for us in Heaven.  I love you !!!!!

we love you, Buddy!

Sal and I had a very painful visit with Buddy at the hospital last night.  

He's not doing well, and the doctors say he may not come home.  Trying to find a way to cope with this devastating news..... {heartbroken & hoping for a miracle}

Buddy's (still) in the hospital

Thanks so much to everyone for your comments here at WITW, your emails, texts, and prayers for Buddy.

Although he's still in the ICU, our visit with him last night was encouraging.  He was able to walk around, which was much better than the 'limp' Buddy who was unable to walk when I visited him earlier in the day.

Sadly, the update from his nurse early  this morning was not great.  He's still not eating, his kidneys appear to have a problem, and he spiked a fever overnight.  I'm waiting anxiously for the doctor to call with details/prognosis and then will head up to visit him.  

Hoping to see Buddy recovering and back home with us soon, our sweet angel.  Aruba is looking for him too.....

Buddy's in the hospital

Buddy was admitted to the ICU today, he's not doing well.  :-(

He was limp, dehydrated, his electrolytes all out-of-whack, and some blood values off the charts.  And it all came on pretty suddenly....

Thinking his symptoms might be related to his chronic heart condition, we rushed him to his cardiologist.  She stabilized him a bit and thankfully found no cardiovascular complications, but said he needed to be hospitalized right away.

As in the past, he's in a top-notch, high-tech veterinary facility, with 24/7 expert care.  It's an amazing place, and is where he had lung cancer surgery and care for heart failure.  And it's comforting that I can call anytime, day or night, and get a detailed update on him.  I miss having him at home, caring for him, so this way I can feel connected to him when we're not there visiting.

It has been a sad and hard day.  We're so hoping that Buddy can once again make a strong recovery--- he's known for it!

As always, I appreciate your prayers for our precious Buddy.

Wednesday wanderlust

hello, summer!

Wednesday wanderlust

stencil magic

So excited about this new online class by Heidi Swapp (a.k.a. scrapbooking rock star) !!!

Interested?  You can sign-up at www.heidiswapp.com

Hello!

Wednesday wanderlust

because I'm a "travel girl"

So excited that scrapbooker extraordinaire Debby Schuh will be teaching a class with the fab & fun new collection called Travel Girl by October Afternoon!  How cute is this "My Great Adventure" album ?!

I've signed-up to attend the class at Whim-So-Doodle in St. Petersburg later this summer... such a fun store and only 30 minutes from my parents!  So, Sal and I will make a long weekend visit of it too.  Such a bonus that Buddy & Aruba can have more "grandma & grandpa" time!

Something fun to look forward to for sure!  :-)

a soggy week ahead....

Boston Strong!

Love this T-shirt from my friend in Boston... thanks, Teri !!